These past two days have been weird, weird ... WEIRD! Just becuase I'm craving lots of food, and especially in the evenings, and when I do eat it isn't very satisfying. My body seems like it won't stop triggering the "hungry" button until I give it what it's craving.
A few weeks ago Jess told me that when I feel serious cravings come on, to be sure and NOT act on them - because the cravings are a sign of my body detoxing. If I feed the cravings, the detox is ineffective. At the time, when he told me it didn't matter. But man oh man, these past few days have been a struggle.
First of all, I went out with some friends to celebrate 8/8/8. Jess has told me that beers are the worst form of alcohol, as far as calories, carbs, and general nutrition go. So I haven't had a beer since I started the study. But, at the celebration, in the evening (when I'm supposed to avoid starchy carbs) I had a few beers. And then I had a buffalo wing and an onion ring. I'm wondering if eating those things made me begin to crave nonsense.
The next day my family had a meeting for a charity we run. I had been in a hurry all day, and needed to eat my next meal, but didn't because I would be late for the meeting. There was pizza there, and I had 3 slices. Pizza isn't that big of a deal, except I was already at my fat limit for the day (so I shouldn't have eaten cheese) and it was at 7 PM that I ate it (so I shouldn't have been eating starches).
THEN ... the next day, all I wanted was a hamburger for lunch. I stopped by my sister's house, this was Sunday, and her husband was barbequeing burgers for the kids. I decided not to have one, because I was "going to go home and make myself a nice, healthy wrap..." But the minute I got in my car, all I could think about was a $1 double-cheeseburger from McDonalds. On my way home I took the longest route possible that passed the highest number of burger joints. I kept talking myself out of it, and then deciding to just do it, then talking myself out of it, etc. Finally, I settled for a chicken sandwich at Carl's Jr. with no sauce. It was a close substitute. But my next meal that day (I made a veggie/tofu stir-fry) seemed almost tasteless to me. After I ate it I didn't feel like I'd eaten at all. I just wanted a nice, heavy meal - full of starches and carbs ... yum yum yum. Ha ha. A little form pill added to that meal at least shut my grumbly tummy up and I stayed on track the rest of the night.
So, who knows? Since my last meeting with Jess I've felt really confident, and I'm thinking I've been feeling a little over-confident. I don't have any instructions to change my nutrition at all, but I'm constantly saying to myself, "Well, I've been doing so well, that just ________ won't hurt!" Dah! Also, now that I'm into the 170's, which is a 10-lb range I've been in since I was 20, I get this thought in my head that I've done "good enough" and that I can stop now. No! I want to get FIT, not just part way!
That, my friends, is my total confession. Ha ha. My clothes are fitting WAY better though, I even wore a pair of jeans this week that I'd retired about a year-and-a-half ago because I'd gotten too big for them. They fit me comfortably! (I even got compliments - woot woot) So, I got really brave and tried on another pair of "skinny" pants. They were a no-go. Lol. Next time, next time.
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